Restaurant Reviews

Joel says: A promised dinner at Sarah's Cafe turned to disaster, disappointment and distress when it was discovered that the restaurant had closed. We went around the corner to Quiet Waters, which didn't have a menu out the front but I gave assurances that it was good. Unfortunately it was the waiting staff's first night, or perhaps they'd done their training from a prestigious non-accredited waiting course university. The girl who met us at the bottom of the steps seemed genuinely stunned to see us and only barely regained her composure when we asked to be seated. Sadly we sat next to a table of bogans, leading to speculation about how much the corkage is per can of RTD. After an incredibly long wait our orders were taken, but before we could place a drink order the waitress waltzed off to the front, where she apparently immediately discarded our order until the kitchen staff looked at us quizzically, looked at the waitresses quizzically, at which point a different waitress ferried it out the back. At one point the waitresses disappeared, leaving the chef (who was wearing thongs) to carry food out to the tables, and on the way back to the kitchen, ask if we wanted any bread (up-selling must have been in the advanced diploma). Food was quite good, except for some magical beans that left us not with an ascent into the heavens and adventure, but a feeling of unease.

Joel says: With a hankering for parmis that had been previously hindered by investigations into more ethnic foodstuffs, we hit the 'local' to check out their dining options. Spirits buoyed by a large sign advertising a $10.90 "mega schnitzel", we braved the weather to walk across the car park and eventually found the meal ordering area. Unfortunately the special only applied to a beef schnitzel, so we went for the more expensive (also classier) chicken parmi. The beverage of choice: we ordered a pint of Coke, but Pepsi had won the war here. This was acceptable. The Hotel's beer of the month was West End Draught - I was not tempted. The dining area featured seven posters advertising the Pubcard discount club along with several promising a delightful day if we chose to bring our mothers for Mother's Day Lunch - I was not tempted. Meal was delivered in good time. The schnitzel itself was of moderate size and sadly a little undercooked in parts, but I powered through it regardless. Breadcrumbs and salsa were standard and nice. The cheese appeared to be a run-of-the-mill cheddar, which was unfortunate. Chips were tasty and well cooked. Salad was safely compartmentalised in a separate bowl.

Joel says: The restaurant was deserted on a very cold and wet Saturday night, except for one woman who entered just before us on her own. I suspect that the disappointing attendance was due to the front door, which was incredibly difficult to push open! But never mind! We were plied with complimentary poppadoms with mint raita and settled on a chicken vindaloo and lamb dal ghost with a vegetable biryani and sparkling shiraz. The vindaloo was, at first, disappointingly non-spicy but it turned out to pack a clandestine punch rather than being tongue-searing. The biryani mysteriously did not appear to contain fruit and nuts as advertised (at least to my untrained eye) but was still tasty. The waiter seemed a bit disappointed that we were not upsold to naan - either we committed a giant culinary sin by not ordering them, on par with dispensing with cutlery and hands and slurping directly from the serving bowls, or naan with their floury foundation provide the restaurant with a giant profit margin item and we are slowly sending Indian restaurants everywhere out of business by neglecting to buy them. Prices were $18ish for mains. Would eat again.

Joel says: A reviewer for the Entertainment Book gave its service a rating of "very ordinary", but we were undeterred. The place was deserted at 7pm on a Wednesday - with three staff, surely we would receive tip-top service! The waitress was very enthusiastic at first and appeared to be angling for a 10/10 service rating, which lead to discussions about how Entertainment Book reviews should show their submission dates, and perhaps they were under new management? She then messed up the wine order, bringing us two glasses of house rose instead of a carafe. To be fair we could have caught that - we ordered a litre and she asked if we wanted one glass or two - the thought of quaffing a litre of wine on your own while the other person watched on was amusing, but it should have raised comprehension alarms. One menu item specified cubes of barramundi, but the fish has been crossed off with a texta, leaving us wondering if it had been replaced by miscellaneous cubes - stock cubes, sugar cubes, Rubik's Cubes.. The food was brought out a bit progressively. The dhal is a bit unusual but the lamb and chicken are great. After we finish the meal, we wallow in our own filth for half an hour while the staff sit together at a table, shouting in Indian. We're not asked about dessert or coffee etc. It would be totally easy to do a runner but we pay anyway. To her credit, the waitress doesn't flinch when we hand over the Entertainment Book voucher and as far as we can tell we weren't charged for the two extra glasses of wine. She claims that it's not busy because it's getting a bit cold - we suspect it's the inattentive service. There weren't any other customers all night.